Whether or not it’s classed as a fear is debatable, but I’ve very recently discovered a phobia I didn’t know I had: chicken wings. And no I do not mean when they’re attached to the chicken.
I’m queasy when it comes to meat products at best and I can’t contend with anything that looks like a thing. If it resembles the animal from which it came it’s a no go for me! The only meat I eat regularly now is chicken, I was a vegetarian for a short time but Christmas happened and I couldn’t resist the gammon. Most other meat (other than the occasional gammon, bacon or sausages) makes me want to vomit. When I’m buying food for myself when I’m living at uni I’ll buy a few chicken breasts (and I always have an immature smirk on my face when I ask the butcher for two breasts) at a butchers in the market and on more than one occasion I’ve felt the blood drain from my cheeks when I’ve accidentally let my guard down and glanced at the, shall we say, more exotic cuts of meat (the pigs tails nearly made me pass out). But other than my breasts I go without meat. When I’m living at home, like I am now, it’s a different story. Piri Piri chicken has become a favourite in my house of late, which is fine…I can cope with chicken, but when that chicken is literally half a whole chicken with a wing attached, hell no. Chicken wings move, they have a joint in them and it creeps me out. Not to mention the wing makes it look like a thing and not just like a lump of meat. If my food has a wing, as far as I’m concerned it might as well still have feathers and a head attached ‘cos I ain’t touching it! You know what, maybe I’ll just go back to a meat free diet instead.
The deepest of fears are often the most irrational, I’m not saying that the chicken wing thing is an actual ‘fear’ but it sure does make me feel queasy! However I do have some ridiculous fears and I don’t even know why.
- Ships and submarines- I’ve not been in this situation but the thought of being in the sea near a ship or a submarine freaks me out, they don’t bite (obviously) and they’re pretty harmless but for some reason the thought of being near one puts the fear of death in me!
- Flapping things- I love birds and butterflies but only from a distance although even from a distance I still hate moths. When I was camping earlier in the summer I went into a toilet cubicle and the biggest moth I’ve ever seen was sitting on the window above the loo like some kind of huge hairy winged monster. I’ve never moved so fast in my entire life, I backed out of that cubicle like I’d just seen Jason Voorhees sat on the toilet with a chainsaw and never went back. The time I saved a falcon with it’s foot (are they called feet when it’s a bird?) was stuck in a chain link fence I prised it’s foot off with a twig because I didn’t want to get any closer than I had to. It was fine, I freed it.
- The dark- Yes I still slide stealth-like into the living room with my back against the wall to turn the light on because I’m afraid to turn my back on a dark room and yes, when I do this I do have my other fist ready to punch. I don’t know what I’m expecting to walk in on, but hey there’s no shame in being prepared right?
- Werewolves- This is the most ridiculous of all because not only was my own damn film about werewolves but they don’t even exist (or do they…mwa ha ha ha) My dad used to do stupid things like point out the window to the woods opposite (back when we lived opposite a wood) and say ‘did you see that werewolf walk past?!’ he also chased me round a hotel room in Butlins with a werewolf hand puppet.
- People dressed up as weird things- I once got so scared of two people dressed in old-school divers outfits (big round tank mask included) that I cried (I was a kid). Just last year I was so scared by a man at a festival dressed as some kind of alien on stilts (the stilts were on his hands and legs so he looked like he was crawling, but six feet higher than normal) that I went the long way round the crowd to avoid going near him.
There’s a few of my irrational fears, and thanks for listening to my chicken wing problem! If you have any weird fears please feel free to make me feel a bit less like a freak and write them in the comments below!